In March of 2019, Netflix teamed up with actor and comedian Ricky Gervais to produce After Life. The dark comedy’s first season introduces us to a man named Tony (Gervais) who recently lost his wife, Lisa, to cancer. In the coming months after her death, Tony is still trying to figure out life without her. He questions existence, a human’s purpose, and compassion as a whole.
Without his wife, Tony feels like he has nothing and is nothing. But it’s not all glum and chum. Throughout the season’s six episodes, we meet his hilarious and sweet co-workers, his brother-in-law, and other characters along the way. By the end of the season, we see Tony finding a glimmer of hope. Thankfully, Netflix announced a second season is on its way, but until then, let’s take a look at some of the darkest moments from After Life’s first season.
Lisa’s Video Messages For Tony
At the beginning of the first episode, we’re introduced to Lisa. She’s creating a vlog for how to survive life without her for her husband, Tony. Despite being in a hospital bed, Lisa has a great sense of humor about the video and is obviously obsessed with her husband, whom she continues to call “lovely.”
Tony watches Lisa’s videos throughout the first season, and it’s obvious they bring him both pain and warmth. Watching her videos makes him depressed, but her words give him hope for tomorrow. There’s nothing more gut-wrenching than watching a woman’s last words to her husband.
Tony’s Attempts At Suicide
Tony is obviously in a lot of pain after he loses his wife. As an Atheist, Tony will not blame God for taking her from him because he doesn’t believe there is a God. And without his wife or a God, he questions why he’s living anyway.
We see Tony’s attempts at suicide, but he’s interrupted by his fateful dog each time. Seeing Tony want to give up his life is harrowing, but seeing as he can never go through with it proves that he still appreciates living.
Tony’s Dad’s Memory Loss
Throughout the first season, we see Tony visiting his dad in what appears to be a senior center. His father clearly has a form of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease because he can’t remember much. And although he doesn’t know who Tony is most of the time, he’s physically very comfortable with him and seems at ease. However, Tony is very honest about his visits with his dad.
He wants to visit his dad because it’s his dad, and he doesn’t want him to be alone. At the same time, visiting his dad makes him depressed because he doesn’t remember him. Tony’s dad also brings up Lisa often, which is a knife to the heart for Tony every time he brings her name up.
Tony’s Dog Trying To Save His Life
The real hero of After Life is Tony’s dog, Brandy. Tony has mentioned numerous times that if it weren’t for Brandy, he wouldn’t be alive. He doesn’t have the heart to leave her alone because she’s “useless” and can’t feed herself.
It seems like the feeling is mutual, though, because every time Tony thinks about ending his life, Brandy barges in and shakes him into reality. Seeing Brandy run into the ocean after Tony contemplates drowning himself is one of the darkest and most courageous moments we’ve seen in the first season.
Turning To Drugs
In the first season, we’re introduced to the neighborhood druggie, Julian. Tony seems intrigued by Julian, and what it is he actually gets out of doing and selling drugs. And by the second episode, we see him buy drugs from Julian and do them that night.
Tony is a hilarious wild card who enjoys drinking, but he doesn’t appear to be a person who mingles in the drug scene. Watching him stoop this low was, ironically, a new low for him.
Giving Julian The Money He Needed To Overdose
If viewers thought Tony doing drugs was dark enough, just wait until episodes four and five. In an insane twist, Tony and Julian are hanging out in Tony’s living room, casually smoking something very illegal when they begin talking about suicide. Julian tells Tony that if he had enough money to buy enough drugs, he would do them all to end his life and end the pain he lives with every day.
Instead of coaching Julian out of his slump, Tony goes through his wallet and hands Julian the money he needs to overdose. It was a disgusting and dark moment for Tony, and what makes it all the more disturbing is that it actually worked. A little boy found Julian dead in the street the following morning.
Living In Filth
Whether Lisa did all the cleaning and upkeep around the house or if it was a shared chore is unknown, but Tony lives in absolute filth without Lisa. He never has dishes, there’s trash everywhere, we see empty liqueur and wine bottles on all the countertops, and he never seems to have food. Tony’s a mess, but his house is worse.
In the opening of the first episode, we see Tony give his dog a can of baked beans because he never bought dog food. And when he didn’t have a spoon or a bowl to eat his curry, he simply drank it right out of the can. Tony is lucky in later episodes to meet Daphne, who cleans his home out of the goodness of her heart.
Tony Threatening A Child (And Punching A Teen)
Tony is obviously in pain. What is the point of living without his best friend and wife? According to Lisa, Tony is usually a hilarious and cheery man, but we don’t see too much of that side without her. His sadness for his loss has turned into anger, and we see him taking that out on the youth.
Two teens tried robbing him in an alleyway, and Tony hit the kid in the face with a can of heavy dog food. Next, he learns his nephew is being bullied at school, so he shows up at recess and threatens him with murder and a hammer…
Taking His Pain Out On Everyone He Interacts with
Speaking of taking his pain out on others, Tony is no stranger to making people feel worthless. It’s not known if he ripped on his colleagues as hard as he does now before Lisa died, but there’s not a day that goes by where we don’t see him insulting someone.
He bullies his co-worker Lenny for basically living, he thinks Kath is pathetic and boring, he’s ruthless to his brother-in-law because he knows he won’t fire him, and he made Julian feel tawdry for being the neighborhood lowlife. Sadly, he makes people feel poorly about themselves because he feels poorly about himself. It’s a dark circle that doesn’t break until the very last episode.
Tony’s Blind Date
It was very surprising that Tony decided to take his brother-in-law’s advice and go on a blind date. But it did not go according to plan. His date is also a widow, but she lost her husband to suicide. She did not seem the least bit remorseful and actually made fun of Tony for his sad “attempts” at suicide and not following through.
The date was a disaster, and Tony left laughing about it. However, the date was a black hole. We see two people clearly in the depths of despair, lashing their pain and anguish out on the other. The two might have laughed about how bad the date was, but it was upsetting for viewers to see two strangers so unknowingly down on their luck.
